Check Up On Me (UPDATED REPOST)

Oh won’t you check up on me

Don’t just pass by my bedroom door

Right now it’s hard to breathe

I’m so sorry I keep asking for more

I know that I’m now 25

But I’m so scared I won’t stay alive

So won’t you check up on me

Cuz being alone is the last thing I need

Maybe I’m just a fool who keeps living in the past

Reliving my childhood moments like your my parent

The time is going slow as the tears come fast

And my mind can’t figure out where my sense of security went

I was always taught to keep that pain all to myself

Thought myself unworthy, imposter syndrome poster child

After all, if I were, why did no one ever come to help

And that’s how I created my own emotional torture exile

Because everything is awful

But you aren’t (so I thought)

And I’m floating away

I’m worry I won’t drift back

Oh won’t you check up on me

Don’t just pass by my bedroom door

Right now it’s hard to breathe

I’m so sorry I keep asking for more

I know that I’m now 25

But I’m so scared I won’t stay alive

So won’t you check up on me

Cuz right now I feel I am drowning

I have a hard time wanting to explain all the ways I’m pained

See myself as a brat throwing another tantrum for attention

I feel like a burden to all every night in my mind’s hellish game

But when you walk by I hold my breath in complete apprehension

Because I’d rather make a mess

Out of all I own (like my mind)

Then to ask for you to hold me

And keep me from the tide

Oh won’t you check up on me

Don’t just pass by my bedroom door

Right now it’s hard to breathe

I’m so sorry I keep asking for more

I know that I’m now 25

But I’m so scared I won’t stay alive

So won’t you check up on me

Cuz I might not make it to morning